Category Archives: Disability Monster

You shouldn’t survive

Don’t survive, thrive!

Thriving is what we all want to do, so why don’t we focus our efforts on that instead of just surviving?

If you were thriving what would that feel like? How would thriving look?

When I think of thriving I find myself smiling. My mood is happy and full of energy. Things come to me easily and I can write this blog with ease. Even after the long winter and current hay fever season. I find it easy to do things. Several projects are in the works. I reach out to others readily and with excitement.

I no longer depend upon my wife to shop for me. I for weeks needed to

Shop for many things but found it so easy to put them off or forget them all together. Now feel free and go with ease and confidence. When I need help I ask for it. I usually get it with a smile and am grateful for all the help I get.

What can you do to Thrive, instead of Just Survive?

First thing I did was to realize that I had been struggling. February is usually my Low Month. It certainly was this year. I had let the cold weather that started in December get to me. I stayed in a lot and felt sad. Now I am forcing myself to get out and be with others.

Second thing I did was act. Once I was aware of my low mood, I took action. I made it a point to be in contact with others.В Two people with whom I Skype and I have started planning for a project. I have also gotten out to some meetings.

Thirdly, I let myself be accountable. By working together with other people I made myself accountable to them. I agreed to find the technology so we could do this online project. After several attempts, I now am able to do, record and edit interviews. They willВ В be podcasted shortly

Fourth, I believed that things would get better. Summer comes even to the frozen Midwest, and we could do this project.

Fifth, I found ways to laugh. I am often quick to see a pun. On a recent Sunday, Our Choir director put out some cards with some jokes on them. I could not help coming up with others.

Question: What is the difference between a Musician and Lock Smith?

Answer: their keys.

Question: where do musicians sit?

Answer: in musical chairs.

6. I allowed myself to dream m. I now aspire to do things. Recently I found a course to teach me how to blog on other sites. I am doing interviews for podcasts. They will appear in two forums, one for the blind community, and the other as stories of how disability changed people for the better. I will say more about that in the future.

This, my friends is the ABLE Coaching model (aspire, Believe, Laugh and love life, enjoy the journey). I will write more about ABLE Coaching in future blogs.

As All Ways, Seek Joy,

Coach Dr. Dave

Author of the forthcoming book, “Recipes for Lemonade (Thriving thru Disability): Dr. Dave’s personal recipe”

PS, as all ways feel free to share this blog. Comments are welcomed on the website or Facebook.

Disability Monster, Are you like a tit on a Boar Hog?

Sometimes we all feel as useful as Tits on a Boar Hog. Boars are males of the pig family. Thus they have no need for tits, but they still have them. Nature put them there as part of the package of being a pig. Then, did nothing with them.  They are sort of unused potential.

I am sure there was a time when my wife would have wished I could breast feed our son.  When he woke up in the middle of the night, I could check on him. I could change a dirty diaper or adjust his blankets and cuddle him, but often he just wanted to breast feed.  My wife was specially equipped for that task.

There are other times I am sure my wife feels I am no more useful than those Tits on a Boar Hog.  After I stopped driving, that chore fell to her.  We inherited a cabin that is several hours drive from our home. It used to be one long day’s drive. We used to escape on Friday evening and spend the night a few hours into the drive.  The next day we would spell each other at the wheel. Now she gets it all.  I try to find ways to amuse her and make it less boring. She has at times invited a friend to share the driving.

Today’s near miss

Today we almost had to eat my disaster.  I like to cook. We like to eat pancakes together.  Usually she will mix that batter while I set the table, make the coffee and fry the bacon. A few weeks ago I found a recipe for Pumpkin Pancakes in the Christian Science Monitor.

I also like pumpkin pies. I have learned how to bake them from fresh pumpkin. I take the left over Jack o’ Lantern and cook it down. Then I scoop it out and blenderize it. We have pumpkin puree in the freezer and fridge.

Today, my wife slept in. I got impatient and after my third cup of coffee decided to make those pumpkin pancakes. Most of the ingredients I could easily identify. Sugar and Flour are obvious. When my wife awoke she found me rummaging through the spice cabinet.  Straining to read labels and sniffing likely candidates can get you only so far. My wife’s eyes to the rescue! Pepper pancakes anyone?

The pancakes turned out to be good and filling.

I have not always been so willing to let others help me. In fact I might have said, “Let me do it myself!” That attitude would drive a wedge between us. It might have given her ammunition to throw back at me.

Disability Monster what are you trying to do, heal a marriage that has at times been near the breaking point? I thought you were my enemy, stealing what I had. Now you are giving me something I had longed for but not realized.

Disability Monster, are your trying to be my friend?


Do you have a Disability Monster in your life? Do you know someone who has one? Feel free to comment below or share this with friends.

As All Ways, Seek Joy

Coach …Dr. Dave

Author of the forthcoming book, “Recipes for Lemonade (thriving through disability): Dr. Dave’s Personal Story”

Learn more about how to Dance with a Disability Monster at Dancing with Monsters

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